Ouch… this one hurt — Brilliance Inside

I stand for healing our society’s cycle of violence. I stand for treating everyone with dignity, respect, honor and love. In our programs, we create safe spaces in which we recognize the pain in ourselves and others, to then heal these hurts so brilliance can ignite in and around us, which in turn creates a community of healing, connection and peace.

Last week, I fell short of my wishes for the world and for myself. In a conversation, I got triggered and spoke to a person with dishonor and without dignity. My words came out in anger and attack. I was not loving.

I’ve spent the past week reconciling this within myself and with the other person.

It hurt me deeply to recognize the hurt I created because I see first-hand the destruction caused by dehumanization, and the cycle it perpetuates. And, while most days my actions heal this cycle, last week, my action perpetuated it.

I took a hard, long look in the mirror and spent some time with the part of me that had been triggered to the point of lashing out to another. It was not pretty. And it’s hard to look at the darkness and ugliness in ourselves.

And yet, I did it because I’ve learned that the fastest end to the cycle of violence is to heal the hurt that underlies the violence. Dishonoring someone is violence. Therefore, I was going to identify the underlying hurt, “neutralize” it by healing it so that it cannot hurt myself or another again.

And yes, I also reached out to the other person apologetically, in reconciliation and healing, as this person deserves to heal the hurt I created.

My greatest wish for all of us is that, when we hurt or are hurt, we take an authentic look at this hurt. As long as we do the hard and vulnerable work of self-reflection and healing, each of us remains on this roller-coaster journey of growth and daily progress. And this, in addition to the healing hurt, is cause for celebration.

Finally, this also triggered shame. Here I am teaching this stuff and, last week, I blew it big time. It’s a reminder that each of us, no matter who we are, are on this journey of healing. Each of us have moments in which we’re living in our brilliance and moments in which our hurt is expressed. There is tremendous power in together holding a safe space to see each other’s vulnerabilities and continue to grow. Despite the hurt, I’m grateful this past week offered this gift.