Create something greater than self

“I forget I’m in prison when we work together.”

We often hear this from the prison residents in our programs. That’s because, in our spaces, they focus and create something greater than themselves. It gives them purpose to galvanize their energy and creativity, and takes their attention off their confinement. They get to become more than prison residents, even if just for three hours a week.

Invitation: Take example on them and do a family project, creating something greater than yourselves. Inspiration is in the video.

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

Mariette Comments
Be treated with respect (psst, it's about agreements)

Yesterday, you learned to set, agree upon and commit to agreements. Today, we discuss honoring and maintaining those agreements, holding yourselves accountable to them. By doing so, you treat yourself with the respect you deserve and ensure others do so as well. And this creates a space that's more peaceful, more creative, more innovative and more productive.

Here again, I turn to the prison residents for inspiration. In our spaces, we set and live up to a very high bar of agreements and commitments, such as

  • We speak only from a place of dignity and respect

  • We listen to everyone, without interruptions (difficult in prison!)

  • We build on each other’s ideas, leveraging the improv concept of “yes, and”

  • We have zero tolerance for blaming, condemning and shaming

These seem obvious on paper. But try putting them into practice. Particularly when it’s among a group of dudes who have responded to most events by pulling out a gun.

In our spaces, when someone breaks an agreement in our spaces, we respond instantly. We pause our activity to create the space for conversation. What happens next varies on the situation. In one way or another, we often create space for the person who broke the agreement to explain if he or she finds it necessary. Instead of blaming, condemning, questioning or rebutting, we listen.

When a person feels truly heard, they talk themselves into the realization of how they might have hurt someone else or themselves.

This conversation is often quick and ends with a recognition of the hurt created and even an apology. Which is huge when most folks have lived most of their lives with an attitude of “I’m right; you’re wrong.”

Within a few short weeks - knowing that we’re only together 3 hours/week - the prison residents themselves uphold and maintain the agreements, are holding each other accountable, creating the said time out and holding the space for conversation. They do so because they’ve tasted at the sense of power, creativity, innovation, collaboration and sense of team that is created.

It takes courage and humility. And maybe some trial and error.

As you hold yourself and others accountable to the agreements, you receive the respect and dignity that you deserve. That’s the point. You deserve to be treated with the dignity and respect you wish for. This comes because you hold yourself and others accountable

Invitation: Treat yourself with the respect you deserve by holding yourself and others around you accountable to the agreements you set with yesterday’s lesson. You’ll also discover the camaraderie, peacefulness, creativity and productivity this produces.

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

Mariette Comments
Set agreements to create safe spaces

Co-created agreements - committed to by each member of our team - create the safe spaces that in turn allow for the creative and innovative expression that then becomes the memorable and magical experiences we co-create, like TEDx events.

Your turn for your household to become a space of creative productivity. Set those agreements together and see home life blossom.

In the video, you’ll find tips on how to co-create this set of agreements and ensuring they allow each household member to thrive, inspired by the prison residents in our Circles.

Invitation: Commit to a set of agreements for your entire household and see how it supports each person’s wholeness and health.

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

MarietteComment
We're all in this together!

One idea unites most people in prison: one day, to walk the street freely.

One idea unites us during this season of confinement: to emerge from this season healthy and in wellbeing.

We watch the prison residents come together in their unique ways to support each other towards their common - and non mutually exclusive - goal of becoming free citizens. We can do the same. in our society. And in our homes.

As Billy says in his “Rediscovering Hope Through Self-Forgiveness” talk from TEDxDonovanCorrectional 2017 (with 48K views!) : “Never look down on anyone unless you’re helping them up.”

Invitation: When you find yourself looking down at someone, have it be with the intention of raising them up.

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

MarietteComment
Craft a memorable event for life's milestones

Weddings. Funerals. Graduations. Birthdays. Holidays (like last weekend’s Easter and Passover). Life's milestones still happen, even while we're confined.

A year and a half ago, I attended a funeral without being able to attend it, thanks to the inspiration of a prison resident's creative solution. It’s one of my favorite memories of my life.

Your milestones while confined could be remembered with sadness of what was not. Or could become the fondest memories for what they became.

Your turn! Become creative to ensure your milestone events become even more memorable than they would have been following traditional protocol

Invitation: How are you going to craft an experience that is truly memorable for you?

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

Mariette Comments
Inspirational testimonies for Easter
Thanks bruce mars on Unsplash

Thanks bruce mars on Unsplash

Happy Easter!

Easter is always a special day in prison because the prison residents get time to share their testimonies during Easter service.  Here are three quick testimonies for your Easter enjoyment.

Sam had recently been stabbed by a person on the prison yard.  Prison politics would dictate that he would have to stab this person back.  And yet, instead of doing so, Sam shared that he had forgiven his stabber.

Tommy had burned a lot of bridges in his life.  He had had no contact with his family and kids for at least 15 years.  One day, out of the blue, he felt called to write a letter to his family.  Right after sending it, he received a letter from his family.  They had sent letters to each other at the same time!  They reconciled and starting corresponding.  In one of the subsequent letters, Tommy’s kids drew a picture that Tommy then painted in, so that his kids could have something that they had created together, father and children.

Casey attended a powerful 4-day retreat of unconditional love inside prison and experienced an awesome transformation.  So much so that he felt strong enough to go sober for the first time in 20+ years.  Casey told his parents about his experience and about going sober.  Inspired by Casey’s commitment, his parents started going to church and they got sober too!

May these stories of God’s work in these men’s lives inspire you to see the transformations in yours.

Invitation:  Take a moment right now to reflect on the transformative experiences that have taken place in your life over the past month or two.

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

MarietteComment
Cooking like prison residents
Thanks Diana for this recipe and your gorgeous platter

Thanks Diana for this recipe and your gorgeous platter

Last night, we ate like prisoners.  No, not their state-issued meal.  Prison residents regularly get together to create “spreads” as they call them.  One brings a tomato.  Another a can of mushrooms he bought through their canteen.  Another a jar of peanut butter sent by family.  And together, doing with what they have on hand, they craft a memorable meal.

Some of them are great cooks, even with their limited access to ingredients, and get their fellow residents salivating.  We regularly hear of the recipes they conjure.  Making soups in their hotpot that doesn’t boil.  Using Kool-Aid as a ramen seasoning.  Seven-layer birthday cakes of cookies and cream cheese.

Well, in this season of not-getting-together, a Columbian-Australian friend from Thailand’s Peace Fellowship and I shared in a lunch/dinner, together with our partners.  Peering into each other’s worlds through our devices, they were having lunch 17 hours ahead of the dinner we were eating.

It’s our dinner prep that resembled the prison residents’.  Diana had previously sent a recipe for Peruvian Arroz con Pollo so that we’d be eating the same thing on both sides of the world.  And, to avoid a trip to the grocery store, we chose to prepare the dish with what we had on hand. The whole chicken became two oversized chicken breasts.  The red onion was actually yellow.  The coriander became cilantro.  The choclo grains became canned corn.  And the yellow chili chopped in julienne was actually canned green chili.

And just like the prison residents, we feasted on our quarantine arroz con pollo!  And if your quarantine feels like prison, you might enjoy the recipe below for Prison Tamales, given by our team to our newsletter readers in April 2019.

Invitation: Make the recipe below. Or make a meal with the funky stuff in your fridge and pantry.

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Prison Tamales

  • Bag of corn chips or tortilla chips

  • Refried beans (residents get these dehydrated)

  • Sausage or other meat, pre-cooked, cut into bite-sized pieces

  • Vegetables - peppers and onions

  • Seasoning of your choosing

  1. Crush chips in bag

  2. In chip bag, add and mix all ingredients. Shake well to ensure it’s properly mixed

  3. Add a little water at near boiling temp (that's the hottest water gets in prison), but not too much so it doesn’t get soggy

  4. Roll in chip bag to form tamale shape

  5. Add cheese and hot sauce

  6. Enjoy!

This is part of a series. You see, on April 1st, I realized that I have a unique perspective into confinement thanks to my past 4.5 years engaging several times a week with the world's leading experts on confinement: prison residents. For the month of April, I will provide a daily lesson learned in prison that will hopefully help us to survive and even thrive while confined to our homes. Go forward and back to enjoy each daily lesson.

MarietteComment